not finding You

 

how is seeking You and not finding You 

still better than finding the world? 

how can i cry, 

and writhe before You, 

scream at You, 

and demand You show me something, anything, 

to reveal that You are there

and You don't show anything, yet

Your silence is still better than the world's noise 

how is the mere thought of You, invisible and intangible

still more beautiful than anything my senses have ever beheld? 

o God who i do not understand, yet wrestle with 

my Jesus, my King - it is You i am trying to feel my way towards 

something inside me loves You with an intensity i feel will kill me

and someday it will

in the final throes of salvation.