about

I just write about what I am interested in:

MECHANICS ⏐ human design + astrology

In my search for some ontological pattern to existence, Human Design has been the most viable theory I have encountered. The longer I experiment with it, the more it humbles me, and the more I am convinced of its validity. I thought astrology (which HD utilizes) was bullshit for most of my life until I actually researched it. Since Human Design is a dense science, I've been diving into the materials for years and still feel like I am barely scratching the surface. I'm going through source material (there is a lot of inaccurate HD information out there from influencers) because I want to try the recipe, so to say, the way the author intended. I'll share whatever useful information I glean from my studies here.

EXPERIMENTS ⏐ body + mind

I still struggle deeply in my life experiment. I see my personal myth on a microcosmic level, and then I see humanity's larger myth on a macrocosmic level and I still wrestle with surrendering to it. I am told to "have faith," yet faith embodied is actually very foreign to me. Even if our minds hold some precious sentiment or belief, or we know our BodyGraph, we still feel anxious sensations. The body still feels fear, loneliness, anger, rage, longing, aches, and other deep pangs we can't always name. What good is a mental construct when you are actually in the shit? I started doing small body based experiments, the whole "somatic" approach, trying to regulate the nervous system. They have been tremendously helpful. The body is "the vehicle" that allows us to filter consciousness, and in my experimentation, I've been amazed how much I've been able to move emotions and regulate my mind by taking a body-first approach. So I'm keeping a collection of tools and approaches I've learned about under this tab.

WITNESSING ⏐ art + observations

Human Design says the point of us incarnating is "passenger consciousness." It is our gift to watch the story of life, the movie, unfold. I believe this is all a story of grace...even if I don't fully know what that means. God, the Universe, "the Love that made the world." There is some sweet beauty that unravels me even as my small, logical human brain tries to rationalize everything. I can frantically scour through the entire corpus of human knowledge looking for some answer to account for the void I feel, the persistent limerence, and encounter, yet again, that deep sorrow when the answer doesn't emerge. Until I hear a bird sing, or see the wind unexpectedly sway the trees in some affectionate dance. It's a wordless answer. The warmth of deep knowing. Someone is there, and they are weaving a story. So whether it is through a piece of art or poetry, or even some simple observation, this section exists as a container for these fragments of witnessing life.

2027 SHIFT ⏐ the next global cycle

Humanity is moving through a shift. We are nearing the end of the global cycle called the Cross of Planning (1615-2027). An era when people relied on large institutions and external authorities to guide their lives. In 2027, we enter the Cross of the Sleeping Phoenix. A new era of individual sovereignty, being present in the now, and discovering what "spirit" is. This transition is the next phase in our collective evolution. A subtle change in the background frequency shaping our shared experience. Based on the keynotes and formulas of Human Design, Ra gave lectures decades ago predicting a declining human population, the return of tariffs as countries move from globalization to becoming more isolated, and the breakdown of institutionalism (in education, medicine, etc). Under this tab, I want to collect the 2027-shift-specific notes I gather from Human Design lectures, as a way to help navigate our personal, individual myths while observing the collective one.